Men Also Get Abused By Women

Emotional and physical abuse is believed to be only for women. Men are the abusers and women the victims. Do not women abuse men? Yes they do get abused and mercilessly. A woman can be brutal when it comes to blames and accusations. She can invent many lies and kill the soul of the man with every sentence she speaks. She may not abuse the man physically, but her emotional abuse may be enough to drive a man to lunacy.

I do not know why the abuse is considered to be prerogative of men? Is it because they are considered the stronger sex? What about emotional strength? Some men are very soft and especially when they deal with a woman, they act more softly. The woman wants to abuse the man will have no such compunctions. She can raise her voice, she can use crying, she can corner the man with all her blames because she wants to hurt him. She succeeds because a good man will not retaliate.

There is no help for men who get emotionally abused by women. They do not want to hurt the woman so they keep taking all the abuse. Let me add something here. Women on who their men have greatest faith do most abuse. So when the woman turns a abuser, the first reaction of the man is total disbelief. This surprise continues for a long time, because the man continues foolishly believing that her woman is getting it wrong. She is not abusing him. She cannot do that because she loves him. This thinking process is very dangerous. Evil recognizes no sexual difference. If a man can be evil, so can be a woman.

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What If You Love Your Friend?

You are friends and you enjoy your friendship. You behave with each other as you do with your other friends. One day you find that you have begun having different feelings for your friend. You like him more than a friend and are developing romantic love. What should you do?

You want to tell your friend about your feelings. But you are not very sure about them yourself. Have you really crossed the relationship of friendship and developed romantic love? You are thinking about that and the more you think the more you get confused. Emotions are like that. They can play havoc with us.

After lot of deliberation, you have decided that the feelings of love are true and figments of your imagination. Should you tell your friend? What if he/she does not reciprocate? What will happen to the friendship?

This is a difficult situation. You do not wish to sacrifice your friendship, but if your friend does not reciprocate that will happen. And there is no way of finding his/her feelings indirectly. You have to do it yourself. What should be done? Please ask. Please tell about your feelings and ask if your feelings are reciprocated. If yes, you are lucky. If not, let the friendship suffer. You cannot continue loving someone without finding out your friend’s feelings. That will be much more painful.

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Marriage - A Beautiful Relationship

Marriage is a beautiful relationship. Unfortunately, during the current years, more marriages are getting broken than ever. People are not able to co exist together in marriage. What are the possible reasons? Why marriages are breaking faster, why are we not getting what we want from marriage? Are our expectations wrong? Or our choice of partner is faulty? Let us find out.

The major factors that contribute to success in marriage are - Knowing what we desire in the marriage, selecting the right partner for fulfilling those desires, defining marriage goals and getting approval about them from the partner, discussing all the issues that hurt the relationship, changing your own style of relating so that marriage becomes stronger and not giving up so easily if cracks develop and try to save the marriage. a broken marriage is not pleasant for any one and hurts.

A marriage is like a cart on two wheels. Both the partners are the wheels. If one wheel becomes weaker or if the wheels are different in size, the cart stops moving. It is similar with marriage. If one partner over dominates or demands more only for himself/herself, the marriage will suffer. For a marriage to succeed, the partners have to take care of each other’s desires, emotions, physical needs and intellectual needs. Both the partners have to support each other to grow and not criticize each other. For example, if a partner knows that his/her spouse is weak in a certain area, it is the duty of the other partner to compensate that and not criticize. Another factor is fear of conflict. Sometimes, the conflicts become so pain giving that partners avoid talking to each other fearing that a conflict may arise. This fear of conflict will kill all communication. Instead what is needed is- healthy communication and peaceful resolution of conflicts in a spirit of give and take. Why should a partner be afraid of talking to other partner in a marriage? That sounds ridiculous, but this is true. This phase spells near death of a marriage. Marriage is a beautiful phase of life. The secret lies in how to carry on for a lifetime.

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Valentine’s Day And Married Couples

Valentine’s Day - the day of lovers and for lovers. What significance does it have for many married couples? Imagine getting up early, getting ready for work and rushing off as usual. On the way, when you watch the scenes outside, you realize that it is Valentine’s Day! But you have many other worries of office and home. The worries and the daily grind of life kills the joy. What used to be awaited by you goes away without any celebration. Why? Where is the spirit gone? Has age made any difference? Has life changed for you? Have the priorities shifted? Is it that you have thousand other worries than thinking of celebrating Valentine’s Day?

As we grow, we change. What used to give us joy during the childhood, stops doing when we are young. How many teens make sand castles? And as we grow older, the objects of joy during the youth become equally insignificant. Why?

A thing of joy is forever. Why cannot an old person enjoy making sand castles, run behind a butterfly to catch it, or try and win hearts as he/she used to do in young age? Why do we lose our life and become dead bodies going around doing routine work? Why cannot we bring back the days of childhood and youth and be happy and feel elated at all the times? All this applies to a married couple. After few years, and in some cases, few months, the romance goes away from life.

Some things are life giving. Love is one such magic. It can give new life and joy to anyone. How to recapture this after marriage? Can it be recaptured? It can be to a certain extent. Because one cannot go back to enjoy the thrill of wooing one’s sweetheart again, as he/she has already been conquered. Let us find out what can be recaptured and how? How about sitting together and watching the moon? How about walking together in rains? How about sharing ice cream from the same cup? How about buying clothes for each other with the same passion? How about feeling bad when alone and feeling extreme joy when together? How about reciting poetries? Make a list of all that you did when you fell in love. Find out what all you have stopped. Redo them with more vigor and bring your love back in life.

A marriage can be a very happy marriage if the partners love each other every moment, if their heartbeats increase when they look at each other. Sounds silly? But this can also be done. Go back to your love and say Happy Valentine’s Day to your spouse with the same passion as you did earlier.

Why should we watch passively and see our love dying? Why should we not make every effort to love with the same romance that we experienced when we met our sweetheart for the first time?

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Satisfaction In Marriage

There are very few marriages, where both the partners are satisfied fully. Go around and make a small survey. The results may look shocking but they are true. Everyone has one or the other complain about the married life.

The dissatisfaction may be many areas. It might be the home they are living in. It may be that the husband does not help the wife in household chores. The husband may complain that the wife is not helping him in growth of his career. It may have to do with difference of views about spending and saving. You will hear complain after complain and may wonder how people stay together with so many complaints?

The dissatisfaction may be emotional. She is not bothered when I am feeling unhappy and she will reply that even he does not bother. Getting physical satisfaction is now a distant dream. Going to places to enjoy with each other is long past. It is watching television at home and somehow killing time. Some people even dread holidays, because they may have to stay with wife all the day. There will be doubts about each other’s friendships and a bundle of complaints about how I am suffering but no one is simply concerned.

Why the communication lines have broken down so badly? Why are spouses not satisfied with each other? It is difficult to say. But this problem can be solved with little effort. Let them sit together and write all their complaints on a paper. Exchange the papers and discuss about everything. Decide that from now onwards, I will try and satisfy you in all the possible ways. If you still have to say something to me, tell me after a month. Give me a month’s time. Keep the talks on through out the month and determine that we will bring back cheer in our life again. We will bring happiness back and become a model couple. This decision itself will change a lot immediately.

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When cupid hits?

I used to live a simple, happy life. I call it happy, but it was more of a peaceful life. Happiness has different meanings at different times. Till a woman gives birth, she does not know what is happiness of being in love with the child. Is it not true? It was same with me.

Talking of love, I had read quite a lot in books and seen many movies. But love, the emotion was unknown to me. Then I fell in love and my world changed suddenly. I cannot say that I used to see stars in bright sun light, but I can surely say that for me the days became as lovely as the nights. We used to share everything. I used to read my poetries to her on telephone and she listened. That simple sharing was heavenly. The same ice cream used to taste totally differently when we used to share from the same cup. What she bought for me was commonly available in the shops, but I used to wear those clothes as if they were directly delivered fro heaven. I can go on and on about what all we shared and loved. As I said before that I had read about love, but did not know about it. I came to know about love only after falling in love.

If you are not in love, please fall in love. There is nothing comparable to love in giving joy. If you are already in love, please make use of every moment to experience it. Love comes as a blessing of God. Love is a blessing and one need not know about heaven if one is in love. Why one falls in love with a particular person? Why one feels different in love? Why one likes the feeling of love more than anything else? Why one forgets one’s identity in love? And why one dies when the beloved leaves for no reason, is a mystery. Please enjoy life when you are in love. Enjoy every moment and live it. Love is a great feeling. Experience and live with love as much as you can, before you lose it.

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Does Your Partner Have Same Values As You?

In every relationship, problems occur when there is a clash of values. Both the partners may not share the same values and that may cause friction leading to a break-up. Values are our beliefs about what is right and what is wrong. For some of us, the value of frugal living is very important. While for others family ties are important as a value. Does your partner share your values or are both of you leading towards a collision and break-up? An analysis can save you lot of pain and discomfort.

Values such as honesty, loving, compassion, mercy, and others that have been taught to us since our childhood and that we respect drive many of our actions. Unfortunately with the degradation in social values, personal values are also falling. That apart, the discussion is about the values that you respect and the values that your partner respects-are they common?

The answer to this question may decide the future of your relationship. Let me give you an example. Suppose you believe that small lying or cheating to further your cause is not bad and is acceptable to you. Your partner strongly believes that nothing wrong should be ever done. Will this conflict in values not produce a conflict in relationship, because we live by our values? Those who believe in talking liberty with values may not get that hurt, but those who believe in living by their values at every step can not dream of braking their values for anyone. This produces a value conflict.

Before entering into any relationship compare your values with those of your prospective partner. If you find a conflict in major values, do not proceed with the relationship. If the major values are matching and conflict is about small parts, you can discuss that with your partner. Values give direction to our life and mold it.

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