Saying Good Bye

One begins a relationship with great hope. The initial signs are very encouraging. The chemistry between both the partners is just right. Both enjoy being with each other and are happy. They believe that they have got what they wanted. Their friends know that the two are going steady and marriage may take place soon. One fine day, a partner announces that he/she would like to break away.

What happened? How did the dreams crash? Why did one partner change mind suddenly? Lets examine in detail. Does change of heart take place suddenly? Normally it does not. That means that the partner who said no, was not happy with the relationship for long. He/she was not expressing that dissatisfaction. The other partner who got dumped was not clearly told but was given very subtle hints. He/she could never pick up those hints and the idea of break-up was not in his/her unsuspecting mind at all.

What will happen now? See one scenario. Over the next few months, the dumped partner may get bombarded with blames. A lot would be told to her/him about behavior and other issues. Some things may be true, some false. As the dumped partner would try to mend fences and request to rejoin, he/she would get another volley of abuses. The relationship is gone. That is human nature. Why the partner who carried so much inside him/her did not tell about that before? Why small misunderstandings were not allowed to be sorted out, but were stored in a pressure cooker for a final burst? No one knows. What should the dumped partner do now? Say Goodbye and try to remake his/her life. This will be difficult but there are no alternatives.

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Will You Break Up Soon?

Love and break-up are two sides of the same coin. It is invariably break-up after love. For most of us it seems inevitable now a days. The question is only of time. Some couples break-up after many years, while some break-up after few months. What about you? Are you nearing a break-up? Quiz yourself and find out if your relationship of love is on brink now. Quiz and find out if the symptoms are already appearing?

How to find out if the break-up is due anytime now? Earlier you enjoyed being with your partner. Is it the same now, or you want to have more of personal space and want to be more with your friends? Quiz your buying habits for your partner. Earlier you gave lot of thought and money was not the only consideration to buy anything for your partner. Are you calculating money now a days? Do you let some occasion go without making a present? Quiz yourself about your talking habits. Earlier you never uttered a word that could hurt your partner. What about now? Are you as careful in selecting your words?

These are small indicators that will tell you the subtle changes that are taking place in your relationship. Watch for these changes and find out if you are sliding down towards an inevitable break-up?

Quiz yourself about your love, your care, your relationships and your desire for each other. Small quizzes will give you hints about large changes. Quiz is a great tool to find out about your life.

Break-ups appear suddenly. But the process of breaking -up begins much earlier. Every break-up hurts. What about your love life? Are you also going towards an inevitable break-up?

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What Haunts After A Break-Up?

A break-up is the worst stress one can have. Other stresses that match or exceed this are loss of business or job, and death. Break-up causes stress in many ways. The way you lived with your partner and looked at life always together suddenly changes. Earlier both of you were on the same side. After break-up both of you are on the opposite sides of the fence.

We begin our relationship with great romantic love. We love what our partner does. We love everything they say and we love working and sleeping with them. We love sharing our ideas with them. At the peak of love, we feel that we were made for each other. The memories of everything that we shared comes back to haunt us after the break-up. It is difficult for many of us to believe that we are no more together. We may still think about sharing ideas, talking about problems with each other and then realize that we are no more with each other. That is a huge shock. The world turns upside-down. We were always depending upon our partner for many things. That suddenly goes away. It is very difficult to bear this change.

The other big change that brings in memories that haunts us is the period of going through the breakup. The spoken words of each other come back in intensity. When you recollect the words your partner spoke while arguing and quarreling with you, you do not know how to believe that it really happened. Because you never expected such words from your partner. During the period of break up you do undergo disbelief that your partner is finding fault with you in many things. But after break-up the memory keeps coming back and creates a hell.

A break-up is one of the worst experiences one can undergo and needs all the will power to become normal again.

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“Breakup” and “Guilt” If it is so then you have lost

How many break-ups also result in feelings of guilt amongst partners? Please take care of guilt before you break-up. Guilt can be a very damaging feeling and can make any life hell. Those who are full of guilt undergo lot of pain asking for forgiveness everywhere, but fail to forgive themselves.

Why guilt? Guilt comes if you have done any wrong that has not been corrected. If you have done wrongs with your partner and refuse to acknowledge them before break-up that will be very painful afterwards. Let me tell you something. Most of us never believe that we have done any wrong. As time passes we realize our wrongs and by that time all is lost. The feelings of guilt therefore take over after that and make life impossible.

If you have decided to break-up, please go ahead. Please do what I suggest before you break up. Please ask your partner about what all he/she feels what done wrongly by you. Ask them to tell you about everything, not missing even the smallest detail. Without any arguments, please say sorry for all that. Do not argue.Say sorry, and apologize and after that try to forget everything. Forgive yourself and continue with your life. This way you will be saving yourself from tremendous amount of guilt that may come afterwards. Act in time before breaking up.

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