Thursday, March 19, 2009

Love - Getting Your Soulmate

Whenever we speak of love, most of us feel very elated. What a lovely feeling is love! At the same time, there are so many people going around beaten after a bad break-up. We may feel jealous of those who got love, but no one wants to step in to shoes of anyone who suffered a break-up. How to avoid falling into a relationship
which gives a big high in the beginning and then makes one suffer after one is dumped? There is no sure-fire formula by which you can try and select a soul mate who will not ditch you afterwards. There may be many reasons for a break-up, but one reason we want to discuss here is principles by which we live. Our values that decide our decisions.

Whenever you are getting involved in a serious relationship, make sure that your values match with those of your chosen mate. There is no way for any of us to appear for tests on values and them match the results. Most of the companies test their employees for many qualities and employ them after fully satisfying themselves. Unfortunately this is missing for us. It can be done but would not it look funny and will kill all the romance if you ask your soul mate - Darling how about a values test for both of us? I want to make sure that we don’t clash on them afterwards and none of us get dumped because our values are different. This will kill any romance. So what is the way out? Let us try talking about one.

For example, you believe in giving. Your values are clear about giving. You think that you should not spend more on your comforts but try and give more to the deprived. If on this score, your soul mate saya - I believe in enjoying life to the fullest and if there are deprived, let them try and earn for themselves. Nothing stops them. I will spend our money for my material comforts first. If both of you hold strong views on this, this will result in strong clashes afterwards and a break-up. The best way out is to write down one’s own values and beliefs and try to find out how the partner thinks about them. If you find one area where your views differ strongly with her/him, think before proceeding further.

Don’t carry any relationship further if you feel that there will be a clash on values afterwards. To hope that things will get sorted out is to fool oneself. They may not. First meet few and talk with those who were dumped to ascertain the pain that it gives. And then decide

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