Monday, October 27, 2008

Save your Marriage

Most marriage advice sites miss the point. They focus primarily on sex. But sex is not what makes a relationship work. Here's best of breed marriage advice that works.

I won't bore you with unnecessary details.

If you are a married person, you know that what keeps a marriage together, what will save a marriage from collapse, is not how good your husband is in bed.

Here's a small chunk of statistics to help you.

When you are newly married, you probably make love, say, three or four times a day if
you and your husband are super active. That is perfectly understandable.

You've spent months waiting for your wedding day. You've been through several hurdles. Now your dreams have finally been realized. The excitement makes repeated love making come naturally.

Then too most working class people take a long vacation to execute their wedding and take a honeymoon. With the routine of work and stress out of the way and your beautiful wife in front of you all day, love making comes knocking regularly.

But after the excitement of the wedding and honeymoon, the real deal begins.

Most people return from a tedious 8-5 or 7-7 job tired and out of sync. Sex is the least thing on their minds.

Days quickly turn into months and months years. Fantasy is over. Day dreams of what your marriage will be are out the window. What you are left with is reality.

Here are things that occupy your mind.
  • Family expenses
  • Family income
  • Children's education
  • Children's grades in school
  • Your mortgage
  • Your spouse's behavior and habits

Suddenly, you discover weeks roll by without any sexual activity between you and your spouse. Then it dawns on you that sex is only a tiny minuscle part of being married. In fact, love making is almost impossible when you have problems weighing down on your mind.

Bottom line.

Marriage advice that works must be based on what the major concerns for couples are in real life. Don't worry about those marriage advice sites that waste an entire web site on the subject of sex. They have no clue as to the width and depth of a marriage relationship.

Now for some sound marriage advice.

  • Lasting marriages are built on . . . Love - sharing, caring, understanding
  • Trust
  • Mutual respect
  • Open two-way communication
  • Shared values - moral values and Godly values

If you are comtemplating marriage, be sure these ingredients exist before signing below the dotted line.

If you are already married and some or all of these features are missing, you can still save your marriage.

How?

Follow this marriage advice: Be the person you want your husband to be.

You know that moods are contagious. Similarly, attitudes are contagious.

You love your husband. There are certain endearing qualities that draws you to him. But then, there are also unpleasant attitudes or habits he has that tears at your heart.

You can still save your marriage.

Take my advice above. Be the person you want your husband to be.

Show him good example.

Love him, respect him, trust him, talk to him and with him, and let God take control.

Attitude changes take time. So prepare for the long haul.

You shouldn't marry anyone whose values substantially differs from yours. But if you are already married, there's not much you can do but to make the marriage work.

You make the marriage work by playing your role well. In time, your good conduct will have positive effects on your husband. And you may be rewarded with the kind of life you seek.

However, this takes time.

In view of this, self-serving marriage advice experts will have you believe that the best thing to do is to retaliate . . . to return evil for evil.

For example, if your husband has been cheating on you, half baked 'experts' tell you to get back at him by cheating on him too.

Bad advice.

Returning evil for evil doesn't make things better. It makes the situation worse.

Cheating husband and cheating wife . . . two deadly combination.

Good always conquers evil. Check history.

To save your marriage, conquer the evil your husband does with good.
  • Be respectful
  • Be obedient
  • Take your family obligations seriously
  • Take your job seriously
  • Get him talking. Communicate with him. Reach his heart.
  • Be trustworthy
  • Keep your family matters confidential unless situation demands you talk to a marriage counseling or a relationship rescue expert
  • Pray for divine help. Pray for your husband. Let God's spirit touch his heart.

Marriage advice comes in all shades and colors. Be wary of marriage advice that encourage you to pay evil with evil. It just won't produce good results. It won't save your marriage.

Work to build a happy marriage that honors God. This is the best marriage advice ever.

1 comments:

Unknown on October 28, 2008 at 11:52 PM said...

nice one too...
but why is it centered only at wives? what abt husbands who want to save their marriage?

 

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